WHAT WAS I WEARING
Messages From Survivors
Thank you for being the best thing that ever
happened to me
Thank you for showing your worth
Thank you for tearing me and hurting me
Only to prove that you are nothing but dirt
Thank you for all the years of laughing and
loving
For the deception and the lies,
For your pushing and shoving
And your evil cloaked despise
Thank you for portraying your true colors
And sadly, I was blind
I never saw the ice in your heart
Or the black in your mind
Thank you for treating me
Like a trophy on your shelf
And Thank you for showing me
That you cared for no one but yourself
Thank you for dragging me and stabbing me
None of that did I ever deserve
Now because of you, I can no longer say
That my body I did conserve
And now that you are gone
I can clearly see
That because of that pain
I can finally be set free
It's unfortunate really:
How great I got
At faking a smile
When my body was left to rot
So thank you again for teaching me
That I'm not some prize to be won
I am a strong, independent woman
One way too good for your gun
Most of all, Thank you
For helping me realize
That even the monstrous devil
Used to be an Angel in disguise
Thank you for reminding me that I Never
needed you
Especially not this year
In which unlike you, I flew
So now that you have seen my sorrow,
Heard my screaming and my cries
You can go on with your pathetic life
Know that yet again, I will rise.
~RLB
"New semester. New beginning. I walked into the classroom full of hope. He recognized me first, stating “don’t I know you?” At first, I did not recognize him because it was dark that night. Then it dawned on me, with full realization that he was a “trick“ I had sold my body to a couple weeks ago. He was sitting behind me in the classroom at [my school]. The shame, the disgust, the self-loathing. This made him human.
I switched classes knowing that I would not succeed in that classroom. I continued with school, but always hypervigilant that I would see another one. I did not let them destroy me. I continued with my studies and eventually stopped being trafficked and sexually assaulted because I gained self-worth. This worth turned into advocacy and a desire to help others. I pursued on and graduated with my Masters Degree in Social Work. I have overcome. I am a survivor."
I am more than my body
Or what you can get from me
I am more than skin, and bone, and blood
What's in between my legs does not define me
Or give me worth
My breasts are not me
My mouth does more than kiss and caress
These hands have more purpose
Than to pull you onto me
I am not a slave to men
I am not a slave to sex
I am a child of God.
My identity is in Jesus Christ.
My worth is found in what he did for me
On that cross out of love
He calls me beautiful, beloved, and priceless
I have a soul, a spirit, a heart
I have a personality
This body is a mere shell that encases my true being
I will not let the looks and touches determine who I am
God sees me and truly loves
Unlike the perverted love on earth,
He is perfect
Even with all the blemishes and darkness in me,
He offers His hand to help me along
He stands beside me through fire and rain
In the lowest valley of my life
He is there
In the raging storm,
His light guides me Home
He protects me from the jagged rocks on the shore
And the lightning that strikes near
Even amidst the thunder
I hear your voice
Your whisper of love in the dead of night
Although I feel dirty and broken, when I look into your eyes, I feel whole
For you have washed me clean
You are the only one I need.