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WHAT WAS I WEARING

Messages From Survivors

Thank you for being the best thing that ever

happened to me

Thank you for showing your worth

Thank you for tearing me and hurting me

Only to prove that you are nothing but dirt

 

Thank you for all the years of laughing and

loving

For the deception and the lies,

For your pushing and shoving

And your evil cloaked despise

 

Thank you for portraying your true colors

And sadly, I was blind

I never saw the ice in your heart

Or the black in your mind

 

Thank you for treating me

Like a trophy on your shelf

And Thank you for showing me

That you cared for no one but yourself

 

Thank you for dragging me and stabbing me

None of that did I ever deserve

Now because of you, I can no longer say

That my body I did conserve

 

And now that you are gone

I can clearly see

That because of that pain

I can finally be set free

 

It's unfortunate really:

How great I got

At faking a smile

When my body was left to rot

 

So thank you again for teaching me

That I'm not some prize to be won

I am a strong, independent woman

One way too good for your gun

 

Most of all, Thank you

For helping me realize

That even the monstrous devil

Used to be an Angel in disguise

 

Thank you for reminding me that I Never

needed you

Especially not this year

In which unlike you, I flew

 

So now that you have seen my sorrow,

Heard my screaming and my cries

You can go on with your pathetic life

Know that yet again, I will rise.

 

~RLB

"New semester. New beginning. I walked into the classroom full of hope. He recognized me first, stating “don’t I know you?” At first, I did not recognize him because it was dark that night. Then it dawned on me, with full realization that he was a “trick“ I had sold my body to a couple weeks ago. He was sitting behind me in the classroom at [my school]. The shame, the disgust, the self-loathing. This made him human.

 

I switched classes knowing that I would not succeed in that classroom. I continued with school, but always hypervigilant that I would see another one. I did not let them destroy me. I continued with my studies and eventually stopped being trafficked and sexually assaulted because I gained self-worth. This worth turned into advocacy and a desire to help others. I pursued on and graduated with my Masters Degree in Social Work. I have overcome. I am a survivor."

I am more than my body 

Or what you can get from me 

I am more than skin, and bone, and blood 

What's in between my legs does not define me 

Or give me worth 

My breasts are not me 

My mouth does more than kiss and caress 

These hands have more purpose 

Than to pull you onto me 

I am not a slave to men 

I am not a slave to sex 

I am a child of God. 

My identity is in Jesus Christ. 

My worth is found in what he did for me 

On that cross out of love 

He calls me beautiful, beloved, and priceless 

I have a soul, a spirit, a heart 

I have a personality 

This body is a mere shell that encases my true being 

I will not let the looks and touches determine who I am 

God sees me and truly loves

Unlike the perverted love on earth, 

He is perfect 

Even with all the blemishes and darkness in me, 

He offers His hand to help me along 

He stands beside me through fire and rain 

In the lowest valley of my life 

He is there 

In the raging storm, 

His light guides me Home 

He protects me from the jagged rocks on the shore 

And the lightning that strikes near 

Even amidst the thunder 

I hear your voice 

Your whisper of love in the dead of night 

Although I feel dirty and broken, when I look into your eyes, I feel whole 

For you have washed me clean 

You are the only one I need.